Nightmares

My intention for this blog was never to be tv-focused. It just so happened to coincide with the Fall TV premiere week, and there you go. My life was filled with TV moments, which I was happy to report. But after two consecutive week trips to New York, I’m back to share other moments that make life so interesting.

After inspiration stemming from a great dinner I had with a friend last night, I decided to focus on my favorites this week – Moments that make me ecstatic or just fill me with elation. But before we start off with the great, let’s take a peak at the little-known worst…

Nightmares.

Most people have them. Less when they’re older. So many people shove their imagination off into a corner as they age, no wonder they protect themselves from nightmares. My imagination may not be as finely tuned as of late as I would like, but it doesn’t save me from the nightmares.

Almost no one knows that I still have them. It’s not chronic. Maybe six or seven a year. I’m a Lucid Dreamer (which means, I have vividly detailed dreams where I know I’m dreaming). An after effect of these lucid nightmares is a lesser know side effect of sleep paralysis. And a mild form of Night Terrors.

When I try to wake up from a nightmare (often it takes a while), I can’t physically move. I wake up frozen in place. Nothing responds. My body races on adrenaline and fear. My blood feels like it’s on fire. It’s one of the most intense feelings I’ve ever had. And how ironic it’s such a negative one? It’s in this moment that I loathe. The moment as I wake up, paralyzed, when I don’t know if the nightmare is real or imagined.

Lucky for me, good usually follows bad. The light at the end of the darkness in a way. While the moments of waking up from a nightmare, frozen, is rather horrific for me, the light comes when I get to realize it was all just a dream. When I can turn over, hug my dog and wash away all the bad images with my warm comforter and the sense that I’ll be just fine.

As they happen, I’ll post them on here. Maybe a good listing of my nightmares will diffuse them into nothingness. The leftover yarn from a disassembled ball.

-Ry

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